My Vision of My Future

Well I think that I’ll be doing fine in the future. I’m just an Average Joe, so I don’t dream about becoming famous or living luxuriously in 7th heaven. I dream of having a good job, marrying a wonderful wife, having a few kids and owning my own house. I want a simple and peaceful life. If I could, I would buy a house that is away from the chaos of a big metropolis like Kuala Lumpur if I could. As for the challenges of marriage, I would like to be a gentle lover, but a hard-working provider. I would never let my wife work to get the things she wants coz I believe in giving the best for my own family. I would like to come home everyday from work, waiting to hold my wife in my arms and spend quality time with her. I’ll enjoy growing old with her. That’s why I’m very fussy about relationships; I want to make sure that I make the right choice so that we would be happy with each other. As for fatherhood, well I don’t really know what type of father I would like to be but I would rather be a close friend to my children so that they can come to me to talk about their problems and needs, instead of fearing me because I’m their father, which will cause communication breakdowns between a father-child relationship. I guess that I’ll be a lenient type of father coz I don’t want to have the relationship that I have now with my dad, with my children in the future. My dad and me rarely communicate because we might end up arguing about something. I don’t want to repeat that cycle with my kids. I don’t blame my dad for the state of our relationship because that’s the way he was brought up and he decided to follow his father’s way of bringing up a child. Me on the other hand, I want to break that cycle and be the best person I can to my wife and kids…

The Person That Means The Most To Me

Have you ever met a person that’s a complete stranger at first and never realize that the person will change your life forever? Well, I have. She was the best thing that ever happened to me. I guess that you’ve probably heard that line about a thousand times. This is different, what I am to today, I owe it to her. When I looked into her eyes, I saw that ‘forever’ was in her eyes, she would never let me down. When I met her, I thought that she was just another girl. I was dead wrong. She took me into her heart and opened mine. To me it was lust or even a lover’s love. She was like the sister I never had. She lifted me up when I was at my lowest, she watched over me when I was unwell, she protected me when I was weakened, she was there to celebrate my triumphs and comfort my failures. Everyone thought that the kind of love that we had for each other was forbidden and not real, but deep inside, we didn’t care about them. We knew that our relationship was one of respect, understanding and genuine care for each other, although many were against it. Society judges’ people from the outside, why are they so shallow? Why has humanity become so conscious about what they themselves perceive as morally correct and incorrect? Why should they judge us when most of them are hypocrites? I really hate it when someone says that we can’t do something because it is not in our culture to do so. Did God ever say that he wanted us to live strictly to what we think is right and wrong conduct? Anyway, the tides turned on us and the pressure was mounting on me to let her go… easier said than done. Letting her go was like cutting away my right hand. I couldn’t. It was so hard. I tossed and turned every night, thinking about the decision that I was about to take. Finally, I decided that if I loved her, I would have to let her go. A decision that would haunt for the rest of my life. I didn’t realize that I’ll hurt her by making that decision, but I’d rather look like someone like let her down than to sacrifice her happiness and her future. Now, it has been almost a year since the day I made that decision and I stuck to it. I don’t know if she hates me now for being such a jerk, but I never told the reason for why I did what I had to do because too much and too many people’s happiness was at stake. I had to suppress all my feelings inside me so that she could forget me. My mind was strong enough to do that but my heart certainly wasn’t. Today, I don’t know how she is and what she thinks about me. Its not that I don’t care but I’m helpless to do anything. All I can do is pray hard everyday that God protects her and keeps her happy. Deep inside, I still hope that she forgives me and that our paths will cross one fine day in the distant future. You could say that our relationship ‘lasted forever, but ended so soon…’. I wish that I could tell her that “I try but I can’t get myself to think about anything but you. I want to be with you. To be the one that’s in your arms to hold you tight. There’s nothing else I want more than to feel this way…” but I will never spoil her happiness to gain my own. That’s how much she means to me…

My Schooling Life... The Best!

My schooling life was the best thing that ever happened to me. I didn’t realize it back then but I really miss school now that I’m in college. I used to dread getting up at 6.15am every morning (during my schooling days) just to go to school. I really thought that school was just a waste of time and I was a real ‘pain in the neck’ at school. The teachers hated me and my group of friends because we always caused havoc everywhere we went. We used to escape from school during our break time and go to a food stall to have some ‘real’ food. We would only come back one hour or two hours later (around the 3rd or 4th period of class after break time). We kept failing or barely passing exams all the time, which didn’t make us ashamed at all. We would commit so many offences in school but we never got caught. As I ponder upon those memories today, I don’t regret doing what I did, I miss doing those things. That’s because back then, I was happier than I’ll ever be today. The past made me who I am and I’m not ashamed of it, but I’m proud of it. I’ll never have the same friends that I had back then and it’s true what they say: “You’ll never know the value of someone till they’re gone”. I can still remember the last day of school (about 3 years back). I wished everyone goodbye and told them to keep in touch (most of them didn’t). I waited till everyone was gone before I left and as I walked towards the entrance, I put my hand on the door, turned around and took one last look at my classroom, vague memories of my antics in class flashed through my mind and tears formed I my eyes. I guess that at that precise moment an important part of my life was slowly slipping away to become a thing of the past. I realized that I couldn’t come back here anymore and that my relationships with my classmates and schoolmates will soon change. Before I stepped out of my classroom for the final time, I whispered a silent but unforgettable ‘goodbye’, not to the classroom but to the ‘best days of my life’…

The Meaning of Life and A Higher Power

Life? I’ve always contemplated on the point of living. Have you been in a situation where you wonder why we were sent upon this earth? What’s our destiny? Are we just mere pawns that exist to serve other on this earth? Or do we play an important part in the survival of living creatures? I believe that God has a purpose for each and every one of us. How do I know this? Well, if you just sit and think. Every coincidence and every twist of fate that we’ve had, isn’t actually luck or chance. If you do believe and open your eyes to divine interventions, you will believe in the existence of a ‘higher power’. So, believing and acknowledging this ‘higher power’ is the key. ‘Ask and you shall receive’ is the fruit of this belief and I’ve witness miracles that happen to me that non-believe may not normally notice. Trust in God and acknowledge his presence in your life. He’ll be the only one that will sit by your side through your every triumph and defeat. Close your eyes, see with your heart…

Introduction

Hi, i'm Jonathan. I live in Malaysia. I'm 20 and i'm studying Information Technology in college. I'm crazy about soccer and i watch it, play it and dream about it everyday. I'm also a web-designer and a webmaster. You could check out the first site i ever did at www.mgosite.cjb.net . It was for a college assignment and i did it entirely with only Window's 'notepad' (no help from any other softwares). That's why it's not so great. Anyway, i also play a lot of online games (Earth2025, Utopia, Runescape) and offline games. I also do a bit of rock climbing and enjoy going to the movies. I enjoy meeting new ppl online and having a chat with them. I have accounts in Friendster.com and Myspace.com (you can find me by email: cyber_tyrant@hotmail.com)