A Dancing Competition: Margaret Tu and Cheung Ying-Choi

Here's a cute piece from Screenland No. 26 (November 1961) showing Margaret Tu Chuan, from Shaw Brothers' Mandarin division, and Cheung Ying-choi, from its Cantonese division, going toe to toe. Both starred together that year in When the Poles Meet, the studio's attempt to cash in on the success of rival MP&GI's cross-cultural comedy The Greatest Civil War on Earth (1961). BTW, the romantic leads of the Shaw entry were none other than Patricia Lam Fung and Peter Chen Ho — both quite good dancers whom I'd also love to see go toe to toe.

A DANCING COMPETITION

Margaret Tu Chuan and Cheung Ying-choi are good friends but just friends and nothing more. They are good friends because they are both naive and childlike.

But this particular day they do not get along so well when they start to argue about dancing, both claiming to be the best. Finally, Cheung suggests hotly, "How about a dancing competition between you and me? The first one to stop dancing will be the loser." And he nominates me to be their referee.

"But that doesn't seem fair to me," I provoke, "you being a man and little Margaret..."

The 'little' bit does it. For Margaret promptly puts in, "Oh, don't you worry about me. We are starting right now!"

So they begin to busy themselves with their rocks and sways while I happily busy myself with my camera. They keep at it for one and a half hours without a stop, and do you know how many shots I took.... Oh, I think you are more interested in the other outcome, so I better tell you right away: Cheung stopped first and lost!

* The original article is available here.

Treatment for Wolves

Here's another one of those wacky Screenland pictorials (No. 27, December 1961). This time around our favorite fatty Peng Peng gets cured of his lasciviousness by "Doctor" Cheung Ying-choi and Siu Keun, a popular Amoy actress from the 1950s who some 16 months later would become one of the hottest stars on the Mandarin screen. That's right, folks: this young lady is none other than Ms. Ivy Ling Po!

A scan of the original is available here.


Pang Pang, despite his unusual bulk, was as fond of women as he was fond of eating. One day, he went to a friend's house and saw a nurse at the house opposite. He called to her as if he knew her.


The pretty nurse, Siu-kuen, did not know Pang Pang. But he insisted that he knew her. Siu-kuen had to admit it. She even invited Pang Pang into her house. He of course jumped at the offer and went.


Siu-kuen told him that this was the bungalow of her doctor whom she had followed here to take a rest. She said that she would introduce the doctor to him. Pang Pang said that was fine. After a moment, Cheung Ying-choi came out, claiming that he was the doctor.


Pang Pang wanted to get rid of the doctor, so that he could be with Siu-kuen alone. He complained of a stomach ache, and the doctor brought instruments.


It was the biggest hypodermic needle in the world, and also a thermometer which was one foot long, which he forced into Pang Pang's mouth. Pang Pang was quite scared of these huge things, but since the girl was there, he didn't mind much.


After taking his temperature, Cheung said it was necessary for an injection. Pang Pang was taken aback. "But your needle is so big!" he stammered. Cheung Ying-choi smiled, "But so is your own body."


As he said so, he motioned Pang Pang to remove his pants. When his fat buttock was exposed, Cheung held the needle like he was holding a rifle. He aimed carefully and pushed it down into Pang Pang's flesh.


Almost two feet of the needle went in and Pang Pang bellowed like a pig being tortured. "Don't move," Cheung warned seriously. "Otherwise the needle may break and will require an operation to get out."


Pang Pang gritted his teeth and appealed, "Please take it easy." "I have tried my best," Cheung declared. "Now don't move, I'm going to inject the medicine." "How many c.c.?" "It is not how many c.c. It's two pounds!"


After Cheung finished injecting the two pounds of medicine, Pang Pang cried in despair, "I'm going to die!" Cheung took a look and was secretly shocked. For the medicine had made Pang Pang's belly swell real big!


Pang Pang could not move a foot. He held on to his belly and moaned, "I sure am going to die this time!" Cheung called Siu-kuen out and winked at her. "We have succeeded," he told her proudly.


Seeing Pang Pang, Siu-kuen could not help wanting to laugh. She told Cheung, "This is exactly the kind of treatment for wolves!" "He should have had enough this time," Cheung replied.

You Can't Outsmart Pat!

To celebrate Patricia Lam Fung's birthday (which I found out about thanks to Enjoy Yourself Tonight), here's an amusing pictorial from Screenland No. 24 (September 1961) that perfectly captures Pat's capricious charm. A scan of the original is available here.


It was their day off and Patricia went with Cheung Ying Choy to visit a friend in his bungalow. But the friend was not in, so they sat down on the front porch to wait. Cheung nursed a monstrous idea while Pat was reading a copy of Screenland to pass the time.


When Pat seemed deeply absorbed he shook the ashes from his cigarette into her cup and stirred, very much amused. He called it an "added attraction".


But Patricia was not that dumb. Her eyes were on the magazine but she caught his every movement. He thought he was perfect but she was not fooled a bit.


She knew exactly what he was trying to do but she said nothing, for she had a counter-plan. Casually, she dropped the magazine on the floor, seemingly careless.


Cheung didn't know better. And to prove that he was a real gentleman, he stooped to retrieve the magazine. That was the moment Pat had been waiting for. Swiftly, she exchanged their cups.


Her movements were lightning fast and before Cheung straightened up, their cups had exchanged places. He never dreamed that she could be so cunning and so quick to act.


He handed her the magazine and she thanked him with a sweet smile. He thought he was a hero. "Now, Pat," he said, "you must be very contented to have a friend who is so considerate like me, eh?"


"Sure," Patricia replied, "otherwise I wouldn't have picked you to escort me." Cheung leaned back comfortably and thought it was about time to pull the string. So he raised his cup. "To our friendship," he said, smiling secretly.


He raised the cup to his lips, all the time watching how Pat would react, and drank deeply. He was thinking that the taste of the cigarette ashes would provide his amusement any minute.


But then his tongue told him that there was something wrong with his tea. And it tasted like it was mixed with some kind of ash. He scowled in puzzlement. Could it be that...


Patricia was already laughing hard and she seemed not affected in the least after downing her "added attraction". The truth was beginning to dawn on him when she asked, "How does it taste, your tea? Mine is very good."


It was apparent now the joke was on himself, and he couldn't even complain! And he had to admit it when Pat said, "You better stop trying, Cheung Ying Choy, for you will never see the day when you can outsmart me!"